Rabeea'h's profileHerLoftinessPhotosBlogLists Tools Help

Blog


    October, 2008

    Each encounter


    Radiohead live: Where I End and You Begin

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-Tx87400-w


    Text by Marguerite Duras, music by Erik Satie
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGbYRAfQYF8

    Memories

    nude back by tonywoodphoto.
    http://flickr.com/photos/the_chocolate_trio/2588614667

    Halcyon seasons, solstice of my days... Far from exaggerating my former happiness, I must struggle against too weak a portrayal; even now the recollection overpowers me. More sincere than most men, I can freely admit the secret causes of this felicity: that calm so propitious for work and for discipline of the mind seems to me one of the richest results of love. And it puzzles me that these joys, so precarious at best, and so rarely perfect in the course of human life, however we may have sought or received them, should be regarded with such mistrust by the so-called wise, who denounce the danger of habit and excess in sensuous delight, instead of fearing its absence or its loss; in tyrannizing over their senses they pass time which would be better occupied in putting their souls to rights, or embellishing them. At that period I paid as constant attention to the greater securing of my happiness, to enjoying and judging it, too, as I had always done for the smallest details of my acts; and what is the act of love, itself, if not a moment of passionate attention on the part of the body? Every bliss achieved is a masterpiece; the slightest error turns it awry, and it alters with one touch of doubt; any heaviness detracts from its charm, the least stupidity renders it dull.

    -- Memoirs of Hadrian, Marguerite Yourcenar



    If on a Winters Night a Traveler.

    An excerpt from Calvino:

    photo erotic (scale: 100%)
    snow in the front-to-back light,
    http://www.photoforum.ru/phot/188422/index.en.html


    ... I'm speaking to you two, a fairly unrecognisable tangle under the rumpled sheet. Maybe afterward you will go your separate ways and the story will again have to shift gears painfully, to alternate between the feminine tu and the masculine; but now, since your bodies are trying to find, skin to skin, the adhesion most generous in sensations, to transmit and receive vibrations and waves, to compenetrate the fullnesses and the voids, since in mental activity you have also agreed on teh maximum agreement, you can be addressed with an articulated speech that includes you both in a sole, two-headed person. First of all the field of action, or of existence, must be established for this double entity you form. Where is the reciprocal indentification leading? What is the central theme that recurs in your variations and modulations? A tension concentrated on not losing anything of its own potential, on prolonging a state of reactivity, on exploiting the accumullation of the other's desire in order to multiply one's own charge? Or is it the most submissive abandonment, the exploration of the immensity of strokable and reciprocally stroking spaces, the dissolving of one's being in a lake whose surface is infinitely tactile? In both situations you certainly do not exist except in relation to each other, but, to make those situations possible, your respective egos have not so much to erase themselves as to occupy, without reserve, all the void of the mental space, invest in itself at the maximum interest or spend itself to the last penny. In short, what you are doing is very beautiful but grammatically it doesn't change a thing. At the moment when you most appear to be a united voi, a second person plural, you are two tus, more separate and circumscribed than before.

    (This is already true now, when you are still occupied, each with the other's presence, in an exclusive fashion. Imagine how it will be in a little while, when ghosts that do not meet will frequent your minds, accompanying the encounters of your bodies tested by habit.)

    Ludmilla, now you are being read. Your body is being subjected to a systematic reading, through channels of tactile information, visual, olfactory, and not without some intervention of the taste buds. Hearing also has its role, alert to your gasps and your trills. It is not only the body that is, in you, the object of raeding: the body matters insofar as it is part of a complex of elaborate elements, not all visible and not all present, but manifested in visible and present events: the clouding of your eyes, your laughing, the words you speak, your way of gathering and spreading your hair, your initiatives and your reticences, and all the signs that are on the frontier between you and usage and habits and memory and prehistory and fashion, all codes, all the poor alphabets by which one human being believes at certain moments that he is reading another human being.

    And you too, O Reader, are meanwhile an object of reading: the Other Reader now is reviewing your body as if skimming the index, and at some moments she consults it as if gripped by sudden and specific curiosities, then she lingers, questioning it and waiting till a silent asnwer reaches ehr, as if every partial inspection interested her only in the light of a wider spatial reconnaissance. Now she dwells on negligible details, perhaps tiny stylistic faults, for example the prominent Adam's apple or your way of burying your head in the hollow of her shoulder, and she exploits them to establish a margin of detachment, critical reserve, or joking intimacy; now instead the accidentally discovered detail is excessively cherished - for example, the shape of your chin or a special nip you take at her shoulder - and from this start she gains impetus, covers (you cover together) pages and pages from top to bottom without skipping a comma. Meanwhile, in the satisfaction you receive from her way of reading you, from the textual quotations of your physical objectivity, you begin to harbor a doubt: that she is not reading you, single and whole as you are, but using you, using fragments of you detached from the context to construct for herself a ghostly partner, known to her alone, in the penumbra of her semiconsciousness, and what she is deciphering is this apocryphal visitor, not you.

    Lovers' reading of each other's bodies (of that concentrate of mind and body which lovers use to go to bed together) differs from the reading of written pages in that it is not linear. It starts at any point, skips, repeats itself, goes backward, insists, ramifies in simultaneous and divergent messages, converges again, has moments of irritation, turns the page, finds its place, gets lost. A direction can be recognized in it, a route to an end, since it tends toward a climax, and with this end in view it arranges rhythmic phases, metrical scansions, recurrence of motives. But is the climax really the end? Or is the race toward that end opposed by another drive which works in the opposite direction, swimming against the moments, recovering time?

    If one wanted to depict the whole thing graphically, every episode, with its climax, would require a three-dimensional, or, rather, no model: every experience is unrepeatable. What makes lovemaking and reading resemble each other most is that within both of them times and spaces open, different from measurable time and space.
    Already, in the confused improvisation of the first encounter, the possible future of a cohabitation is read. Today each of you is the object of the other's reading, each reads in the other the unwritten story. Tomorrow, Reader and Other Reader, if you are together, if you lie down in the same bed like a settled couple, each will turn on the lamp at the side of the bed and sink into his or her book; two parallel readings will accompany the approach of sleep; first you, then you will turn out the light; returning from separate universes, you will find each other fleetingly in the darkness, where all separations are erased, before divergent dreams draw you again, one to one side, and one to the other. But do not wax ironic on this prospect of conjugal harmony: what happier image of a couple could you set against it?

    September, 2008

    Being with you and not being with you is the only way I have to measure time.



    Rarities. Poems Borges wrote in English.

    I

    The useless dawn finds me in a deserted streetcorner; I have
    outlived the night.
    Nights are proud waves: darkblue topheavy waves laden with all
    hues of deep spoil, laden with things unlikely and desirable.
    Nights have a habit of mysterious gifts and refusals, of things
    half given away, half, withheld, of joys with a dark
    hemisphere. Nights act that way, I tell you.
    The surge, that night, left me the customary shreds and odd
    ends: some hated friends to chat with, music for dreams,
    and the smoking of bitter ashes. The things my hungry
    heart has no use for.
    The big wave brought you.
    Words, any words, your laughter; and you so lazily and incessantly
    beautiful. We talked and you have forgotten the words.
    The shattering dawn finds me in a deserted street of my city.
    Your profile turned away, the sounds that go to make your name,
    the lilt of your laughter: these are illustrious toys
    you have left me.
    I turn them over in the dawn, I lose them, I find them; I tell
    them to the few stray dogs and to the few stray stars
    of the dawn.
    Your dark rich life…
    I must get at you, somehow: I put away those illustrious toys
    you have left me, I want your hidden look, your real smile
    —that lonely, mocking smile your cool mirror knows.


    II

    What can I hold you with?
    I offer you lean streets, desperate sunsets, the moon of ragged
    suburbs.
    I offer you the bitterness of a man who has looked long and long
    at the lonely moon.
    I offer you my ancestors, my dead men, the ghosts that living men
    have honoured in marble: my father’s father killed in the
    frontier of Buenos Aires, two bullets through his lungs,
    bearded and dead, wrapped by his soldiers in the hide
    of a cow; my mother’s grandfather –just twenty four-
    heading a charged of three hundred men in Peru, now
    ghosts on vanished horses.
    I offer you whatever insight my books may hold, whatever man-
    liness or humour my life.
    I offer you the loyalty of a man who has never been loyal.
    I offer you that kernel of myself that I have saved, somehow –the
    central heart that deals not in words, traffics not with
    dreams and is untouched by time, by joy, by adversities.
    I offer you the memory of yellow rose seen at sunset, years
    before you were born.
    I offer you explanations of yourself,
    theories about yourself, authentic and surprising news of yourself.
    I can give you my loneliness, my darkness, the hunger of my
    heart; I am trying to bribe you with
    uncertainty, with danger, with defeat.

    1934
    September, 2008

    xkcd



    August, 2008

    I am who I shall be and become. I shall construct myself and choose my exile.


    Darwish in a Godard film? I'm very curious as to how he dealt with the subject matter. Soon though.


    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/35/Rain_Steam_and_Speed_the_Great_Western_Railway.jpg
    Turner - Rain, Steam and Speed - The Great Western Railway

    Mahmoud Darwishs homage to Edward Said.

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e2/Joseph_Mallord_William_Turner_024.jpg
    Turner - Calais Pier



    August, 2008

    Horizon

    Unseen buds, infinite, hidden well,
    Under the snow and ice, under the darkness, in every square or cubic inch,
    Germinal, exquisite, in delicate lace, microscopic, unborn,
    Like babes in wombs, latent, folded, compact, sleeping;
    Billions of billions, and trillions of trillions of them waiting,
    (On earth and in the sea — the universe — the stars there in the heavens,)
    Urging slowly, surely forward, forming endless,
    And waiting ever more, forever more behind.
    -- Whitman

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/58/Vue_d%27Arkona_-_Sepia_de_Caspar_David_Friedrich.jpg
    View of Arkona at Moonrise, sepia drawing, C.D. Friedrich

    June, 2008

    And through a fractal on a breaking wall

    'It was love at first touch rather than at first sight, for I had met her several times before without experiencing any special emotions; but one night as I was seeing her home, something quaint she had said made me stoop with a laugh and lightly kiss her on the hair - and of course we all know of that blinding blast which is caused by merely picking up a small doll from the floor of a carefully abandoned house: the soldier involved hears nothing; for him it is but an ecstatic soundless and boundless expansion of what had been during his life a pinpoint of light in the dark center of his being. And really, the reason we think of death in celestial terms is that the visible firmament, especially at night (above our blacked-out Paris with the gaunt arches of its Boulevard Exelmans and the ceaseless Alpine gurgle of desolate latrines), is the most adequate and ever-present symbol of that vast silent explosion'

    'The time, the place, the torture. Her fan, her gloves, her mask. I spent that night and many others getting it out of her bit by bit, but not getting it all. I was under the strange delusion that first I must find out every detail, reconstruct every minute, and only then decide whether I could bear it. But the limit of desired knowledge was unattainable, nor could I ever foretell the approximate point after which I might imagine myself satiated, because of course the denominator of every fraction of knowledge was potentially as infinite as the number of intervals between the fractions themselves.'

    http://alumni.media.mit.edu/~mazalek/projects/aleppo/nabokov.html

    Musica Indiscriminate


    Prof Edgar Nogueira

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vat6Y0Vua0

    Nina Simone - Ain't Got No...I've Got Life
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=GUcXI2BIUOQ

    Astor Piazzolla: Milonga del Angel
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbdakZjHTys

    Solomon Burke - None of Us Are Free feat. The Blind Boys of Alabama
    mp3: http://media.anti.com/solomon_burke/dont_give_up_on_me/None_Of_Us_Are_Free.mp3
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfzVeTaSAsQ

    Tracy Chapman & BB King The Thrill Has Gone
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A34YpXq6TIo

    Blue Oyster Cult - Don't Fear The Reaper
    http://www.zshare.net/download/4460566be942d9/

    Paper Bag - Fiona Apple
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Kkg1IkGJ0Y
    (And I went crazy again today
    Can not. Will not. Stop. Singing.)

    Save me - Aimee Mann
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNbTC6xLVg0

    Alanis Morissette - Crazy (Seal Cover)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KCIgkLMiKo

    Bruce Springsteen - Girls In Their Summer Clothes
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7g7-lL6cQU

    The Beatles - The End
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=gI38vPDCoao
    (..and in the end, the love you take, is equal to, the love you make..
    Schmaltz? Oh bite me.)

    Live - Turn My Head: Inspired by John Register Version
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pll_nym5TfM

    Magnet & Gemma Hayes - Lay Lady Lay
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAif3KBavSQ
    (I forgot how much I loved indie-folk.
    And he's on a bicycle. nudge nudge wink wink @ Third Policeman reference. And 19th April. Of course.)

    Metamorphosis Two - Philip Glass
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jf2YGbTjAGc
    (Heard this whilst reading Chronicle of a Death Foretold. *cough* seemed like an apt soundtrack to the central christ-figure in the book.)

    Zhao Jing & Yasuji Ohagi - A. Piazzolla - Tanti Anni Prima
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAmD3dWO_ME

    Piazzola - Yo Yo Ma Libertango
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tMgVMxG95A

    Deep Water - Portishead
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGNVp9FybvM

    The Smiths - Big Mouth Strikes Again
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riOWcUi95_A
    (Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking
    When I said I'd like to smash every tooth
    In your head
    Check out their Peel sessions)

    Mark Knopfler - Rüdiger A Night In London
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-z_q16yDlRk
    (Word.)

    Saul Williams - List of Demands
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1llNYAlYrc

    Oistrakh & Richter Franck Violin Sonata I Part1 - 4
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3esQ8qO5gc

    Staring at the Sun - TV on the Radio
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uo2WLQ2LVA
    (I'll never get over them. NEVER!, y'hear!)

    Neil Young - Heart Of Gold
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eh44QPT1mPE

    Radiohead - All I Need (Official MTV Video)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdrCalO5BDs
    (It's ironic that the biggest corporate cultural polluters in America, who don't think twice before giving airtime to a consumer oriented, labour abusing company like Nike (I was actually expecting a sneaker in the end, but thats ACTUALLY making a statement, isn't it?) would produce this video. But I like the song and the video did give me shivers.

    For a better understanding on the effects of human trafficking, labour issues and the connection with various corporations, here's Pilgers piece:

    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7932485454526581006)

    ASTRAKAN CAFÉ - Anouar Brahem Trio
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOPK0TCy-bw
    (I had forgotten how much I loved Brahem)

    Bloc Party - "Hunting for Witches" VICE Records
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2EkcT9q28Q
    (Disparate and misinformed
    Fear will keep us all in place)

    The Revolution Will Not Be Televised: Gil Scott Heron
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTCQSk2l8bc
    (You will not be able to stay home, brother.
    You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out.
    You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and skip,
    Skip out for beer during commercials,
    Because the revolution will not be televised.

    The revolution will not be televised.
    The revolution will not be brought to you by Xerox
    In 4 parts without commercial interruptions.
    The revolution will not show you pictures of Nixon
    blowing a bugle and leading a charge by John
    Mitchell, General Abrams and Spiro Agnew to eat
    hog maws confiscated from a Harlem sanctuary.
    The revolution will not be televised.

    http://www.gilscottheron.com/lyrevol.html)

    Elliott Smith - Between the Bars
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOvhx8XwpH4






    Father and Daughter

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvmTsH4iHBo

    Saw this when Z posted it earlier. Then saw it the day before. Then last night. Then this morning. Then now. You should see it too.

    October, 2007

    Black is the Colour of My True Loves Hair

     
    Check the testimonials, they very funny
     
     
    Welcome to our website:
    Black People Love Us!
    We are well-liked by Black people so we're psyched (since lots of Black people don't like lots of White people)!! We thought it'd be cool to honor our exceptional status with a ROCKIN' domain name and a killer website!!
    September, 2007

    Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism

     
    Stood in firelight, sweltering. Bloodstain on chest like map of violent new continent. Felt cleansed. Felt dark planet turn under my feet and knew what cats know that makes them scream like babies in night.
     
        Looked at sky through smoke heavy with human fat and God was not there. The cold, suffocating dark goes on forever and we are alone. Live our lives, lacking anything better to do. Devise reason later. Born from oblivion; bear children, hell-bound as ourselves, go into oblivion. There is nothing else.
     
        Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose. This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It's us. Only us. Streets stank of fire. The void breathed hard on my heart, turning its illusions to ice, shattering them. Was reborn then, free to scrawl own design on this morally blank world. Was Rorschach.
     
    --
    I looked at the Rorschach blot. I tried to pretend it looked like a spreading tree,
    shadows pooled beneath it, but it didn’t. It looked more like a dead cat I once found,
    the fat, glistening grubs writhing blindly, squirming over each other, frantically tunneling
    away from the light. But even that is avoiding the real horror. The horror is this: In the
    end, it is simply a picture of empty meaningless blackness. We are alone. There is
    nothing else.
     
    --
    In my opinion, it's [Life] is a highly overrated phenomenon. Mars gets on perfectly without so much as a microorganism. See: there's the south pole beneath us now... No life. No life at all, but giant steps, ninety feet high, scoured by dust and wind into a constantly changing topographical map, flowing and shifting around the pole in ripples ten thousand years wide. Tell me... would it be greatly improved by an oil pipeline?
     
    ---
    Look at it: a volcano as large as Missouri, it's summit fifteen miles high, piercing even the atmospheric blanket. Breathtaking... We've been through this before, Laurie. You argue that human life was more significant than this excellent desolation and I was not convinced. You attempted to compare the mere uncertainty in your existence with the chaos of the world beneath us... but where are the pinnacles to rival this Olympus? Where are the depths to match those of Valles Marineris. It stretches more than three thousand miles, so that one end knows day while the other endures night. Temperature differences breed shrieking winds that herd oceans of fog along a canyon four miles deep. Does the human heart know chasms so abysmal?
     
    --
    Thermo-dynamic miracles... events with odds against so astronomical they're effectively impossible, like oxygen spontaneously becoming gold. I long to observe such a thing.
     
    And yet, in each human coupling, a thousand million sperm vie for a single egg. Multiply those odds by countless generations, against the odds of your ancestors being alive; meeting; siring this precise son; that exact daughter... Until your mother loves a man she has every reason to hate, and of that union, of the thousand million children competing for fertilization, it was you, only you, that emerged. To distill so specific a form from that chaos of improbability, like turning air to gold... that is the crowning unlikelihood. The thermo-dynamic miracle.
     
    But the world is so full of people, so crowded with these miracles that they become commonplace and we forget... We gaze continually at the world and it grows dull in our perceptions. Yet seen from another's vantage point, as if new, it may still take the breath away.
     
    Come... dry your eyes, for you are life, rarer than a quark and unpredictable beyond the dreams of Heisenberg; the clay in which the forces that shape all things leave their fingerprints most clearly.
     
    Dry your eyes... and let's go home.
     
    -- Watchmen, Alan Moore 

    September, 2007

    Reality favors symmetries and slight anachronisms

     
    And yet, and yet . . . Denying temporal succession, denying the self, denying the astronomical universe, are apparent desperations and secret consolations. Our destiny is not frightful by being unreal; it is frightful because it is irreversible and iron-clad. Time is the substance I am made of. Time is a river which sweeps me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger which destroys me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire which consumes me, but I am the fire. The world, unfortunately, is real; I, unfortunately, am Borges.

    -- Essay: A New Refutation of Time, 1946 

    Wall And Piece

     

    An extract from the diary of Lieutenant Colonel Mervin Willett Gonin DSO who was
    among the first British soldiers to liberate Bergen-Belsen in 1945.


    I can give no adequate description of the Horror Camp in which my men and myself were to spend the next month of our lives. It was just a barren wilderness, as bare as a chicken run. Corpses lay everywhere, some in huge piles, sometimes they lay singly or in pairs where they had fallen. It took a little time to get used to seeing men women and children collapse as you walked by them and to restrain oneself from going to their assistance. One had to get used early to the idea that the individual just did not count. One knew that five hundred a day were dying and that five hundred a day were going on dying for weeks before anything we could do would have the slightest effect. It was, however, not easy to watch a child choking to death from diptheria when you knew a tracheotomy and nursing would save it, one saw women drowning in their own vomit because they were too weak to turn over, and men eating worms as they clutched a half loaf of bread purely because they had to eat worms to live and now could scarcely tell the difference. Piles of corpses, naked and obscene, with a woman too weak to stand proping herself against them as she cooked the food we had given her over an open fire; men and women crouching down just anywhere in the open relieving themselves of the dysentary which was scouring their bowels, a woman standing stark naked washing herself with some issue soap in water from a tank in which the remains of a child floated. It was shortly after the British Red Cross arrived, though it may have no connection, that a very large quantity of lipstick arrived. This was not at all what we men wanted, we were screaming for hundreds and thousands of other things and I don't know who asked for lipstick. I wish so much that I could discover who did it, it was the action of genius, sheer unadulterated brilliance. I believe nothing did more for these internees than the lipstick. Women lay in bed with no sheets and no nightie but with scarlet red lips, you saw them wandering about with nothing but a blanket over their shoulders, but with scarlet red lips. I saw a woman dead on the post mortem table and clutched in her hand was a piece of lipstick. At last someone had done something to make them individuals again, they were someone, no longer merely the number tatooed on the arm. At last they could take an interest in their appearance. That lipstick started to give them back their humanity.

    Source: Imperial War museum

    http://www.banksy.co.uk/manifesto/index.html

    Junk Merchants

     
    To raise awareness and money for The Global Fund, a percentage of each (PRODUCT)RED product sold is given to The Global Fund. The money helps women and children affected by HIV/AIDS in Africa. 
     
    Are  they serious?
     
    Who needs more stuff? You don't have to buy (RED) to make a difference. Join the (LESS) movement that rejects shopping as a solution to human suffering. Donate directly. Make a real difference. Limit the consumption of more meaning(less) crap.
     
     
    Like Burroughs would say: The junk merchant doesn't sell his product to the consumer, he sells the consumer to the product. He does not improve and simplify his merchandise. He degrades and simplifies the client.
     
     
    September, 2007

    Everybody Loves a Political Song

     
    TV on the Radio - Dry Drunk Emperor

    Not exactly Anti-flag or the Pistols, but since I'm quite unable to see beyond these guys for a while now, thus

    all eyes upon
    dry drunk emperor
    gold cross cross jock skull and bones
    mocking smile,
    he's been
    standing naked for a while

    Dylan allusion, I think: he's been standing naked for a while

    While preachers preach of evil fates
    Teachers teach that knowledge waits
    Can lead to hundred-dollar plates
    Goodness hides behind its gates
    But even the president of the United States
    Sometimes must have
    To stand naked.

    From It's Alright Ma I'm Only Bleeding

    or the Emperors New clothes, either way
     
    September, 2007

    And watch the world spinning gently out of time

     
    How much does a man live, after all?

    Does he live a thousand days, or only one?

    For a week, or for several centuries?

    How long does a man spend dying?

    What does it mean to say, "for ever"?

    - Pablo Neruda  
    August, 2007

    Between The Bars

     
    “for poetry that with ironic precision allows the historical and biological context to come to light in fragments of human reality"
     
    "I thought poetry could change everything, could change history and could humanize, and I think that the illusion is very necessary to push poets to be involved and to believe, but now I think that poetry changes only the poet."
     
    "We should not justify suicide bombers. We are against the suicide bombers, but we must understand what drives these young people to such actions. They want to liberate themselves from such a dark life. It is not ideological, it is despair."
     
     

    Under Siege

     

    Here on the slopes of hills, facing the dusk and the cannon of time
    Close to the gardens of broken shadows,
    We do what prisoners do,
    And what the jobless do:
    We cultivate hope.
    ***
    A country preparing for dawn. We grow less intelligent
    For we closely watch the hour of victory:
    No night in our night lit up by the shelling
    Our enemies are watchful and light the light for us
    In the darkness of cellars.
    ***
    Here there is no "I".
    Here Adam remembers the dust of his clay.
    ***
    On the verge of death, he says:
    I have no trace left to lose:
    Free I am so close to my liberty. My future lies in my own hand.
    Soon I shall penetrate my life,
    I shall be born free and parentless,
    And as my name I shall choose azure letters...
    ***
    You who stand in the doorway, come in,
    Drink Arabic coffee with us
    And you will sense that you are men like us
    You who stand in the doorways of houses
    Come out of our morningtimes,
    We shall feel reassured to be
    Men like you!
    ***
    When the planes disappear, the white, white doves
    Fly off and wash the cheeks of heaven
    With unbound wings taking radiance back again, taking possession
    Of the ether and of play. Higher, higher still, the white, white doves
    Fly off. Ah, if only the sky
    Were real [a man passing between two bombs said to me].
    ***
    Cypresses behind the soldiers, minarets protecting
    The sky from collapse. Behind the hedge of steel
    Soldiers piss—under the watchful eye of a tank—
    And the autumnal day ends its golden wandering in
    A street as wide as a church after Sunday mass...
    ***
    [To a killer] If you had contemplated the victim’s face
    And thought it through, you would have remembered your mother in the
    Gas chamber, you would have been freed from the reason for the rifle
    And you would have changed your mind: this is not the way
    to find one’s identity again.
    ***
    The siege is a waiting period
    Waiting on the tilted ladder in the middle of the storm.
    ***
    Alone, we are alone as far down as the sediment
    Were it not for the visits of the rainbows.
    ***
    We have brothers behind this expanse.
    Excellent brothers. They love us. They watch us and weep.
    Then, in secret, they tell each other:
    "Ah! if this siege had been declared..." They do not finish their sentence:
    "Don’t abandon us, don’t leave us."
    ***
    Our losses: between two and eight martyrs each day.
    And ten wounded.
    And twenty homes.
    And fifty olive trees...
    Added to this the structural flaw that
    Will arrive at the poem, the play, and the unfinished canvas.
    ***
    A woman told the cloud: cover my beloved
    For my clothing is drenched with his blood.
    ***
    If you are not rain, my love
    Be tree
    Sated with fertility, be tree
    If you are not tree, my love
    Be stone
    Saturated with humidity, be stone
    If you are not stone, my love
    Be moon
    In the dream of the beloved woman, be moon
    [So spoke a woman
    to her son at his funeral]
    ***
    Oh watchmen! Are you not weary
    Of lying in wait for the light in our salt
    And of the incandescence of the rose in our wound
    Are you not weary, oh watchmen?
    ***
    A little of this absolute and blue infinity
    Would be enough
    To lighten the burden of these times
    And to cleanse the mire of this place.
    ***
    It is up to the soul to come down from its mount
    And on its silken feet walk
    By my side, hand in hand, like two longtime
    Friends who share the ancient bread
    And the antique glass of wine
    May we walk this road together
    And then our days will take different directions:
    I, beyond nature, which in turn
    Will choose to squat on a high-up rock.
    ***
    On my rubble the shadow grows green,
    And the wolf is dozing on the skin of my goat
    He dreams as I do, as the angel does
    That life is here...not over there.
    ***
    In the state of siege, time becomes space
    Transfixed in its eternity
    In the state of siege, space becomes time
    That has missed its yesterday and its tomorrow.
    ***
    The martyr encircles me every time I live a new day
    And questions me: Where were you? Take every word
    You have given me back to the dictionaries
    And relieve the sleepers from the echo’s buzz.
    ***
    The martyr enlightens me: beyond the expanse
    I did not look
    For the virgins of immortality for I love life
    On earth, amid fig trees and pines,
    But I cannot reach it, and then, too, I took aim at it
    With my last possession: the blood in the body of azure.
    ***
    The martyr warned me: Do not believe their ululations
    Believe my father when, weeping, he looks at my photograph
    How did we trade roles, my son, how did you precede me.
    I first, I the first one!
    ***
    The martyr encircles me: my place and my crude furniture are all that I have changed.
    I put a gazelle on my bed,
    And a crescent of moon on my finger
    To appease my sorrow.
    ***
    The siege will last in order to convince us we must choose an enslavement that does no harm, in fullest liberty!
    ***
    Resisting means assuring oneself of the heart’s health,
    The health of the testicles and of your tenacious disease:
    The disease of hope.
    ***
    And in what remains of the dawn, I walk toward my exterior
    And in what remains of the night, I hear the sound of footsteps inside me.
    ***
    Greetings to the one who shares with me an attention to
    The drunkenness of light, the light of the butterfly, in the
    Blackness of this tunnel!
    ***
    Greetings to the one who shares my glass with me
    In the denseness of a night outflanking the two spaces:
    Greetings to my apparition.
    ***
    My friends are always preparing a farewell feast for me,
    A soothing grave in the shade of oak trees
    A marble epitaph of time
    And always I anticipate them at the funeral:
    Who then has died...who?
    ***
    Writing is a puppy biting nothingness
    Writing wounds without a trace of blood.
    ***
    Our cups of coffee. Birds green trees
    In the blue shade, the sun gambols from one wall
    To another like a gazelle
    The water in the clouds has the unlimited shape of what is left to us
    Of the sky. And other things of suspended memories
    Reveal that this morning is powerful and splendid,
    And that we are the guests of eternity.
     
     -- Mahmoud Darwish

      (Translated by Marjolijn De Jager)